One of the greatest joys of motherhood is sharing it with other mothers and their babies. When you all grow together, you get to create bonds that can last a lifetime! But beware — gossip, negativity, and/or flakey-ness can turn your safe space into a toxic pool. So take our advice and put a few simple rules in place from the get-go to insure your moms’ group becomes a place that feeds your (and your baby’s) soul!

#1: Don’t have too many rules.

Too many rules are intimidating, annoying, and can be excluding. Having said that, some things need to be crystal clear to avoid future conflicts and hurt feelings. So having a few choice rules in place is necessary.

#2: Only involve moms you trust.

Your playdates together will prove to be sacred times for all of you. You will be sharing in the many joys of parenthood, but you will also be sharing the frustrations, disappointments, and feelings of failure that every new mom naturally experiences. It’s the sharing that makes you feel normal, better, and ready to better face each new day. So a mom who’s judge-y, unsympathetic, or gossipy will contaminate your troop. And geography is so NOT as important as who a mom is, so if you need to drive a little further to a great mom’s house, it’s worth it in our book! Once you’ve established the best group of women you can, make sure that each of you really knows that  you have each other’s backs — always. And don’t hesitate to nix a toxic mom out of the group. Remember, it’s supposed to be a safe space! It’s best to have a smaller group of trusted besties than a larger group of acquaintances.

#3: Find a weekly play date that you can all make and then make it your priority to show up!

Pick a day and time that works for everyone in the group and then do your best to go everytime! If neither you nor your baby is truly sick or experiencing a real reason not to go…GO! There’s nothing worse than a flakey friend that you can never depend on — especially when they’ve been head-counted in the meals. And feelings will get hurt quickly when people are no-shows.

#4: Rotate play dates and make yours special!

When it’s your turn to host a playdate, it’s your turn to shop it, cook it, and clean it — because it’s your turn to spoil your comrades! We love a brunch playdate and we typically serve: a breakfast casserole (ours below), small muffins, fresh fruit, coffee, infused water, and mimosas for the moms and mac-n-cheese, applesauce, and juice for the kiddos. But each mom gets creative with the menu when it’s her turn. What’s important to remember is to insist that you will clean everything up once everyone leaves your playdate.  That way, no one feels guilty leaving — they’ll know they will have their turn later.

Mother's-Day-2014-Recipe-Print-It

#5: Only invite a guest when it’s your turn to host.

There is something so special about letting your mother, sister, mother-in-law, or visiting friend get a sneak-peek into your moms’ group world. But it does change the dynamic of that playdate, so we think inviting them to your home, not your fellow moms’ homes, is key. And letting everyone know in advance that you’ve invited them is important. This way you can insure that everyone is comfortable and knows what to expect.

#6: Make a birthday gift rule.

It’s more special to give one gift as a group than to add to the onslaught of toys that each of your babies will accumulate. And when second and third babies start joining the group, it will become overwhelming and expensive. So give a book that you all inscribe or make a piece of art together with all the kids’ hand prints. The point: quality over quantity!

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